This pic was a few months (on left)ago for a music video that I just re-did that past week (on right).
I don’t want to just show you all glam because we’re all human and go through things. A few months ago I was 65lbs heavier, became ill with mono/ebv virus and didn’t know it at the time, also got a vaccine on top of it all, that made it worse. I went through some pretty rough moments and the doctors couldn’t figure it out. Before finding out that it was thankfully just a very hard virus and my body detoxing, at the time I would get dizzy, pass out, body would go numb, vision blur, face slid, and felt terrible. I was treated for stroke, seizures, and a million other things. Multiple hospital admissions with numerous blood tests, cat scans, mris you name it, I had it done. Talks of diabetes got me even more ready for the new lifestyle change. I had so many awesome people praying for me and encouraging me that I wasn’t sick and that I’d be fine. It wasn’t easy to believe that when you saw and felt the opposite. At quite a few points over the past few months I wasn’t sure I was even going to make it because I felt that ill. I had a decision to make to trust God and lean on His word and promises to me or not. It caused me to have to truly trust Him and to stand strong, declare life, and make some major changes. It delayed quite a few things and it was uncanny that it all started as I was about to launch my cd the first time. Many people told me it’s just an attack from the enemy, but I now believe that it was Jesus loving me enough to get me prepared for the nations and get me healthy. I probably would’ve kept up after the unhealthy choices I was making after a year of pretty hard emotional situations that took place, and then just straight up excuses of not doing it for long before that too. I made a covenant with God that I would never go back this time, He always keeps His word and this time I wanted to keep mine. God fine tunes us to His perfection. All the work was done, songs written, recorded, etc. but I wasn’t ready. God didn’t change His mind, He loved me enough to give me the strength to overcome something I obviously couldn’t do on my own. I didn’t need surgery or a magic pill, just Jesus.
Sometimes I wouldn’t leave the house because I didn’t want to pass out while driving, or lose sensation in my body, and I kept changing my flights because I didn’t feel well enough to fly.
Don’t live in fear, walk in peace and life no matter what it looks or feels like.
God didn’t take me out, set me apart, have me go through all the things I went through, and make beautiful promises to me for nothing.
A few weeks ago I was waiting to finally get on my flight, mind you I was exhausted after leading two worship services that morning and still not feeling anywhere near 100% but some dear close family members encouraged me to get on that flight and I’m so glad I did.
While I was waiting to board, a man came up to me out of nowhere and told me that I wasn’t sick but my body was detoxing. He said I’d been through some major stress these past few years with hard decisions to make but that I did the right thing. (Hard decisions was an understatement). He said God was cleansing me and preparing me for the nations and that I was going to be just fine and to fear not. He grabbed my hands right there in front of everyone at the gate and anointed me and told me now I was ready. I said “wow this is crazy” and he said “no, this was a divine intervention” and I didn’t see him again.
GOD IS AMAZING AND REAL!
If God gives you a word, you do it. People will betray you, turn on you, and let you down.
He won’t. Stay the course, that’s why many are called and few are chosen. You are chosen for greatness, don’t doubt or be afraid. If I made it through, you will too.
All the things He promised me since I was a little girl are happening before my very eyes. The people I get to work with, places I’m going, I’m just in awe and forever grateful.
Try not to wait until God makes you do something, it’s not fun trust me. But even if you do, you will pull through, and you will pull through in victory. Keep moving forward, each day, minute, & second is truly a gift. After a spriritual and physical transformation, I’m ready now, and it was all worth it. It’s been the hardest, worst, but best year of my life. -MARi